Suicide Notes ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Suicide Notes by Michael Thomas Ford

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I like the Dutch snow angels, however I feel the others represent the theme of the book. I'll let you know how the snow angels play a part after I finish it. 
Update: Snow Angels had one tiny part in the book when they were allowed to go outside on day. He made snow angels to try to cheer up one of the girls. ⛇ I like it but I stand by original impression. It doesn't represent the book as well as the others.  

G👀dreads About Summary

Fifteen-year-old Jeff wakes up on New Year’s Day to find himself in the hospital—specifically, in the psychiatric ward.

Despite the bandages on his wrists, he’s positive this is all some huge mistake. Jeff is perfectly fine, perfectly normal; not like the other kids in the hospital with him.

But over the course of the next forty-five days, Jeff begins to understand why he ended up here—and realizes he has more in common with the other kids than he thought.

Genre: Realistic Fiction, Young Adult, Mental Health, LGBT, Psychology, Humor

The How/Why: Not my typical pick. My friend's 14 year old granddaughter told me to read it. So yes, yes I will. 
I suggested she read Girls With Sharp Sticks and Pretty Dead Things. Both about girls living up to someone else's vision of perfection, until they don't. GWSS is YA, PDT is not and there IS a little spice but she reads Dark Romance so I think it will be tame enough for a 14 year old. Especially since she told me 5th graders are reading smut! 😱😳 Yet I digress...

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🎉 Overall Storytelling? 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

🎣 Did it grab and keep my attention? 🎣🎣🎣🎣🎣

🗣️Would I recommend it to anyone? Yes ➕ Highly recommend

🕮 Would I want a sequel? Maybe 🤷 The book was published in 2008 so I doubt there would be a sequel* at this point. Might be interesting if Jeff went on to pursue a career in the mental health field helping others facing the issues he did. He was very caring and helpful to the others in the ward.
*UPDATE: STOP THE PRESSES. There WAS a sequel, Every Star That Falls. It was published in 2023! Probably going to pass because (no spoilers) but apparently his reentry into the present includes business as usual. Like nothing ever happened and he's fine. Even though a big thing happened and everything isn't fine.
Sadly it does not steer him to a career in the mental health field. Lost opportunity there (IMO).

📚 Would I want to read more books by this author? Yes ➕

💣💥 📢 Content Warnings? SȖicidɇ (duh), Sɇlf Hɐrm, Sɇxuɐl Assɐult, Hom0ph0biɐ

🌶 Spice? No, but there was some sexual experimenting.

🌪 Plot Twist? I felt a plot twist coming on from the get-go. Yes but no surprise.

👟 Pace? Very good

💻 Tidbits ~ I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVED this book. For such a dark and serious topic, this story was presented with humor but still remained respectful.

I think this is a hidden treasure. Possibly because it was published in 2008, before social media platforms took off in the bookish world. I think it deserves more recognition. 
I only heard about it because my friend’s 14 year old granddaughter told me I should read it. She read it after their neighbor's son Ƙïℒℒɇd himself. 

Anyhow… on with the story.
Each chapter represents a day in the psychiatric ward of the hospital. 45 days is his sentence, I mean program.  
It hooked me in right away when he wakes up unsure of where he is. "Why am I in the Nuthouse?" He doesn't want to talk about the SȖicidɇ attempt and is in denial that he belongs there. He's perfectly fine and everyone one else is crazy.

We meet the others trapped in crazy town ( his term). Typically 4 or 5 teens and they rotate out. They are all fighting various demons and learning to cope. 

Jeff is sarcastic and witty and constantly tried to crack the *nosey* doctor, feeling the questions were private and none of his business. 

Around the 35 day mark, one of the other patients tragically dies and it forces him to look inside at who he really is. At that point he feels he's ready to talk about what happened that lead him to want to end his life.
(((hugs)))

So many great quotes!

Sadie is one of the other patients, also there due to a failed SȖicidɇ attempt. They bond over late night talks and sharing their mutual dark humor:

“I didn't realize there was a ranking." I said. "Sadie frowned. "What do you mean?" "A ranking," I said. "You know, what's crazier than what." "Oh, sure there is," Sadie said. She sat back in her chair. "First you have your generic depressives. They're a dime a dozen and usually pretty boring. Then you've got the bulimics and the anorexics. They're slightly more interesting, although usually they're just girls with nothing better to do. Then you start getting into the good stuff: the arsonists, the schizophrenics, the manic-depressives. You can never quite tell what those will do. And then you've got the junkies. They're completely tragic, because chances are they're just going to go right back on the stuff when they're out of here." "So junkies are at the top of the crazy chain," I said. Sadie shook her head. "Uh-uh," she said. "Suicides are." I looked at her. "Why?" "Anyone can be crazy," she answered. "That's usually just because there's something screwed up in your wiring, you know? But suicide is a whole different thing. I mean, how much do you have to hate yourself to want to just wipe yourself out?”

This quote isn't a spoiler because it's on the author's page:

“So now I'm thinking about it. I'm imagining sitting down with my parents and actually saying, "I'm gay." And you know what? It makes me a little mad. I mean, straight guys don't have to sit their parents down and tell them they like girls.”

"Sweet Jesus Christ on a Biscuit" 

Although it’s YA, I did not find the writing immature and I appreciated watching the transition from inside Jeff’s head.

Favorite Character: Has to be Sadie 💔 with an honorable mention to Jeff's 13 year old sister Amanda. She is very accepting of him, annoyed with the parents, and family counseling day asked if he did it again could she have his room. "AMANDA" shouts the parents! 

Bottom Line in the World According to Patti: Life is fragile. You don't know what someone else is going through. Being kind to someone is free but can be priceless to the recipient. 

🎧 Narrator: Barret Leddy - Excellent 👍👍

🎧6.35 hours (Hoopla) 🕮 295 pages

Five Star Highlights

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